I almost collapsed at Sunset Junction. I felt like that balloon in the picture above, detached from myself, floating to an unknown destination. It happened during Lee Scratch Perry, the only reason why I was at the festival, but its origins are unexplainable. Doing my research, I believe what I experienced was a panic attack.
I had all the symptoms:
- tunnel vision
- time moving slowly
- trembling
- sweating
- dizziness
- lightheadedness
- derealization
- nausea
- muscle weakness
- paresthesias
- the need to escape
Cold water is my safety blanket. It's all that's needed to make me come back to reality.
When we got home from Sunset Junction, we watched Downtown 81. The film inspired us to listen to the Suicide so we played the music, turned off all the lights, and projected stars onto our walls.
As we laid in bed, I kept staring at the stars, thinking they were a metaphor for people: they moved at different speeds, but some were content with where they were. All of a sudden, synaesthesia set in and I kept seeing spots of purple fade in and out of the ceiling, but it only happened in a certain area of the ceiling. I couldn't control it. It just happened. Even when I closed my eyes, I saw the purple dots. It was my second time experiencing synaesthesia. The first was seeing streaks of orange, brown, and blue when I heard different sizes of vehicles passing by outside of the window.
But, I digress. Many times, I feel like that balloon in the picture, floating wherever the wind wants to take me. It controls my flow of life.
I had all the symptoms:
- tunnel vision
- time moving slowly
- trembling
- sweating
- dizziness
- lightheadedness
- derealization
- nausea
- muscle weakness
- paresthesias
- the need to escape
Cold water is my safety blanket. It's all that's needed to make me come back to reality.
When we got home from Sunset Junction, we watched Downtown 81. The film inspired us to listen to the Suicide so we played the music, turned off all the lights, and projected stars onto our walls.
As we laid in bed, I kept staring at the stars, thinking they were a metaphor for people: they moved at different speeds, but some were content with where they were. All of a sudden, synaesthesia set in and I kept seeing spots of purple fade in and out of the ceiling, but it only happened in a certain area of the ceiling. I couldn't control it. It just happened. Even when I closed my eyes, I saw the purple dots. It was my second time experiencing synaesthesia. The first was seeing streaks of orange, brown, and blue when I heard different sizes of vehicles passing by outside of the window.
But, I digress. Many times, I feel like that balloon in the picture, floating wherever the wind wants to take me. It controls my flow of life.
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